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Invisible Illness Awareness Week: Random Observations From My Life With Chronic Illness

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This week is Invisible Illness Awareness Week. It seems a bit odd to write a post specifically for that on this blog, especially considering I usually just write about my life anyway.

I haven’t really been writing much recently because I’ve totally lost my blogging mojo. I think I’ve just been feeling quite rubbish and my focus is trying to feel better “in real life” rather than spending time online.

So instead, here’s a little bit of a glimpse inside my mind right now. I hope this can resonate with some of you!

  • Sometimes it’s all way too much
  • But at least I have a robot bed
  • And free travel
  • I’d rather be much less “strong” and not be this unwell
  • “You wouldn’t be given all of this to deal with if you couldn’t handle it”. Fuck off.
  • I’m bored out of my brain
  • I’m far too excellent for all of this
  • Having to start and stop over and over again is exhausting
  • Although I can’t bring myself to stop trying
  • My body and I are in a constant battle for surpremacy
  • It will not win
  • Even when my joints like going on holiday
  • I’m starting to run out of ideas
  • At least I look adorable, right?
  • I should get a bob again
  • I’m really glad that the trainers I’ve been told my whole life by physios to wear are in fashion now
  • Jeeze, believing in something would probably make this way more easier to deal with
  • Damn my pragmatism and living in the real world
  • The real world sucks
  • I’m scared about my future
  • I get jealous seeing my friends do all the things I wish I could be doing
  • It’s not fair
  • I’d just like a job, please
  • But I guess, considering what I’m up against I’ve managed to achieve a lot
  • I just have really high expectations of myself
  • I feel like I’m more boring than I used to be
  • I wanna par-tayyyy
  • Woo
  • If one more person tells me that I should read The Secret, I’m going to violently attack them. There will probably be biting
  • Additionally, fuck off with your unsolicited advice and platitudes
  • When using the disabled badge in the car I feel weird because I don’t look sick
  • You won’t see me when I’m at my worst
  • I have my grandma’s old wheelchair and it’s comfy as all hell
  • It’s made for short people
  • Like meeee
  • I wish meds could help
  • Or y’know, we had medicinal marijuana here or something
  • I like pilates
  • And osteopathy
  • And barre
  • I could have been a ballerina if I wasn’t so hypermobile it buggered me up
  • And I was a foot taller
  • Shut up
  • Hmm
  • I hate the winter because it traps me inside
  • I hate the summer because it makes me dizzy as all hell
  • The amount of pseudoscience that prays on vulnerable, desperate people really concerns me
  • I’m scared about my future
  • Challah > gluten free
  • Food > boring (but sometimes necessary) restriction
  • I can no longer be bothered to travel, which is a sign that something isn’t right
  • At least I have my books
  • And Netflix
  • And projects that I’m working on
  • But ultimately they don’t feel that satisfying
  • I like going out and being busy and pushing myself and doing things
  • My body doesn’t really agree
  • Maybe I’m a bit depressed
  • Which would be understandable
  • I  can’t shake this flare up
  • And no, thinking about how others have it worse doesn’t really change my situation
  • So I’m not grateful
  • (I’ve always been a bit of a brat, and that’s not going to change)
  • The support systems that are out there to support disabled people don’t seem to understand invisible illnesses
  • I’d like to write about this more but I have to appreciate that I still come from a place of massive privilege compared to many other people in my situation
  • My family are amazing
  • My friends are amazing
  • I don’t like feeling like a burden
  • Maybe I need to be nicer to myself
  • I am trying as hard as I can
  • I need to get in the shower and you guys have probably had enough of my rambles by now
  • Read more about Invisible Illness Awareness Week here.

If you’re in your teens or 20’s and are struggling with chronic illness, check out  my coaching services for a friendly face to talk to.

10 Comments

10 Comments on Invisible Illness Awareness Week: Random Observations From My Life With Chronic Illness

  1. Sandy
    September 30, 2015 at 2:29 pm (2 years ago)

    Well said. And I do know where you’re coming from, although I’m well at the moment. Mostly. You have every right to be p***ed off with the situation. It sucks.

    Reply
    • Natasha Lipman
      September 30, 2015 at 2:32 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks sandy! I’m glad to hear you’re doing (mostly) well!

      Reply
  2. Alice
    September 30, 2015 at 2:46 pm (2 years ago)

    Hi Natasha,
    I just wanted to say that I found this piece incredibly heart-warming and funny. I loved the way you capture the madness of the internal monologue we all go through at times, I feel that’s something I can really empathise with! Also, thank you for raising the profile of Invisible Illness Awareness Week.
    All the best x

    Reply
  3. Derrick Wess
    October 1, 2015 at 11:52 pm (2 years ago)

    I find it hard to justify it when I tell people that I’m disabled (I’ve hearing loss from birth and diagnosed with ADHD as a child) so a lot of what you wrote resonates with me. Onward and upwards we go!

    Reply
  4. Trudeewillz
    October 12, 2015 at 9:21 am (2 years ago)

    You just summed up my life!!! I truly loved the ” you wouldn’t be given all this to deal with ” crap! So sick of hearing that shite! Thanks for articulating my inner monologue…. Except for the robot bed, I don’t have one of those lol. Wishing u a very speedy flare-covery x

    Reply
    • Natasha Lipman
      October 14, 2015 at 3:51 pm (2 years ago)

      Right?! Ooh you need to get a robot bed 😉 They’re the best! Hope you’re having a flare-free day today x

      Reply
  5. Michelle @ Fed Up With Food
    October 15, 2015 at 2:34 am (2 years ago)

    I didn’t even know there was an Invisible Illness Awareness Week! Love how you manage to capture the crazy internal monologue we all have with ourselves from time to time so well. I actually just found your blog and love your perspective on wellness and life in general – so inspiring! I run a campaign/blog on raising awareness for orthorexia too and hopefully in the near future there’ll be less of “eat this to become this” to “how to take care of your body from the inside out” kinda message going around to make this world a better place! Cheers x

    Reply

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